Queer Loneliness: Mental Health Focus February 2020

Stonewall D&A News Newsletter February 4, 2020 | 0

Before we head into this month’s newsletter, we have a quick announcement: WE ARE LOOKING FOR VOLUNTEERS for our 2020-2021 term. ALL LEADERSHIP POSITIONS are accepting applications throughout the month of February. Stonewall Japan is 100% volunteer-run so we’d love to have you on board! Volunteering offers fellowship, opportunities for creativity and flexibility in enriching our online safe spaces and local communities, and a platform to do something different and better. You don’t need to live in Japan to volunteer for some positions! Also, while Stonewall Japan is a Special Interest Group under the JET Programme our volunteers do not need to be JET Programme participants.

If you have any questions, please reach out via Facebook or e-mail info@stonewalljapan.org. You can find the online application form and information on our positions here: https://stonewalljapan.org/become-a-volunteer/.

Our current timeline (subject to change): Accepting Applications February 3rd to 22nd / Elections: February 24th to 28th/ 2020-2021 Leadership Team Announced: March 2nd

Now onto the newsletter!

Loneliness today is described as an epidemic around the world. Everyone can be subjected to it. This month’s awareness campaign will focus on what it is, how queer identities can be affected, and ways to address it. Also, this month’s Rainbow View Focus is on genderfluidity/genderqueer. Check it out below!

What is Loneliness ?

Loneliness is the emotional state of unhappiness because you feel alone. Often, lonely and alone are used to describe the same thing but they are different. Alone is the physical state of being with no one but yourself, not the emotional state that people can experience. People who are alone, through choice or circumstance, are not always lonely and people who are very social can still experience loneliness.

There was a time that loneliness was described as a “symptom” of being queer. It wasn’t till sometime later that the traumatic experiences faced by queer people received responsibility for such negative states.

Different kinds of loneliness also exist. For example, Social loneliness is loneliness based on the number of relationships one has. Emotional loneliness, on the other hand, is focused on the quality of relationships.

(Some)Reasons we feel lonely:

Absence of a Primary Group

A primary group is a type of social group. The relationships in a primary group give us love, security, and companionship (1). One’s family is often one’s first primary group. However, many queer people can face a strain in these relationships leading to being excluded or for a need to leave this group. The strain can take form as the pressure to keep one’s identity secret or a negative reaction towards a coming out as examples. The absence creates a need that is difficult to meet without a community. Other family members, close friends, or a chosen family can provide the needs of love, security, and companionship. Image: pexels.com

Shift to online vs. in-person interactions

How we navigate social media can create or worsen feelings of loneliness. Social media is often described as being only for positive highlights of life instead of the full experience. This focus can create a feeling of not having enough relationships or having many relationships that are not close. ‘Likes, reactions, and comments’ contribute to this. The relationships may be high in quantity (ie. number of followers) yet not high in quality (ie. providing a sense of security and love). Image: pexels.com

Dating apps have provided many opportunities for connections (2). However, they can also amplify harmful and superficial standards of beauty, appearance, and status found in physical dating scenarios at larger and perhaps more insensitive volumes. These standards are even applied to platonic relationships creating isolation rather than fellowship.

Shift in queer spaces

Not having safe spaces & queer run spaces can isolate queer people and communities. This can limit the ways in which queer people safely and openly express and explore their identities and receive support like HIV/STD interventions. It can also lead to loneliness. Queer spaces remain essential to members of the LGBTQIA+ community, like trans people, queer people of color, and the elderly, who often face many barriers when navigating heteronormative spaces.

Gentrification is one of the biggest challenges faced by queer spaces by raising rents to overwhelming costs. Historically gay neighborhoods are now too expensive for many too afford, especially our community’s more vulnerable groups. The Castro, in San Francisco, California, has a range of $3000 to over $5000 a month pushing many queer people and businesses out (3). Even gay bars, the most common of queer spaces, are becoming less common a study found from University College London (UCL)’s Urban Lab found a decrease from 125 queer venues in 2006 to 53 venues in 2017 (4). Of course, these establishments are in more city areas so one can expect the opportunities to be even less in more suburban and rural areas. Image: pexels.com

Ways to counter loneliness

Forming more meaningful relationships has proven to be better than forming many relationships when addressing loneliness. For queer people, these higher-quality relationships can look like a primary group that provides which strong bonds and needs that affirm one’s identity and are emotionally satisfying. A high-quality online friendship can do more good than a toxic group of friends (5). Image: pexels.com

Joining queer fellowship groups provide great opportunities to interact with the local LGBTQIA+ community. Groups like Stonewall Japan, online communities on Reddit, or dating apps and so on can lead to connections with individuals near and far. Events like Dyke Weekend or pride events provide real-life experiences for interaction and connection that can be built upon. Stonewall Japan’s local block groups on Facebook can help connect you with local members in your area. Our event calendar on the website relies on member submissions of local queer events in the hopes for queer fellowship. Everyone is encouraged to submit!

Starting a hobby is a recommended way to engage loneliness and turn it into something productive and fulfilling. Joining communities based on these hobbies can also provide connection and fellowship with others. Image: pexels.com

Reaching out for professional support like counseling or therapy can help identify underlying causes for loneliness, like mental health challenges, and make a plan to address them. Organizations like TELL, paid online counseling services like TalkSpace, or browsing an online directory like International Mental Health Professionals Japan can serve as a start.

Rainbow View

A monthly feature to shine light on the rainbow spectrum

February Focus: Genderfluidity/Genderqueer Awareness

Genderfluid / genderqueer is when a person has no fixed gender and more importantly this gender varies over time (6). Genderfluid people generally use they/them pronouns, however be mindful of this as every individual is different. If they don’t state pronouns simply ask their preference.

History:

The ending of a decade many people have been wondering how to summarise genderfluidity. For Millennials the concept of gender-nonconformity has seen a massive shift in the individuals and areas of the expressions we see. Nowadays, we see a major change in how gender is represented in the media we consume. This would’ve been unheard of in the early 2000s where the likes of Ken and Barbie ruled. We have the internet to thank for this tremendous expansion of information exchange. The internet has made it easy to connect and share ideas and experiences about gender.

Indigenous Identities

However, this concept of gender fluidity has been present in communities, particularly indigenous communities, for many years. North Americans (two spirit) where people embody the spirit of both genders, Samoa (Fa’afafine) was first seen in the 20th century and means “in the way of a woman.”(7) however it includes people of nonbinary genders and Indonesia (Waria) from the early 19th century(8) there has been communities of genderqueer people. Colonisation of these cultures was a major player in the decrease of the visibility of these nonbinary genders. Recently, there has been a resurgence of celebration and even legal backing of these nonbinary genders across the world. The three mentioned were only a small insight indigenous genderqueer communities. Image: Waria persons Credit: Flickr.com

A modern look at gender fluidity saw the likes of Ruby Rose and Johnathan Van Ness portrayed in mainstream media.

Ruby interprets their relationship with gender with “I feel like I’m a boy, but I don’t feel like I should’ve been born with different parts of my body or anything like that,” they said. “I feel like it’s just all in how I dress and how I talk and how I look and feel, and that makes me happy… I really sit in a more neutral place, which I’m grateful for as well.” Image: wikimedia commons

Van Ness, who is known most famously for Queer eye, states “I’m gender nonconforming,” he said. “Like, some days I feel like a man, but then other days I feel like a woman.”
Image: wikimedia commons

loneliness mental health

Queer Loneliness: Mental Health Focus February 2020